SOTW Roundup: 7/22/2012 - 7/28/2012

Posted: Wednesday, August 1, 2012 by Anonymous in
0

SOTW Roundup: 7/22/2012 - 7/28-2012


Are you ready for some fútbol?!?! The 2012 Summer Olympics in London kicked off on Friday after an Opening Ceremony that was saved only by the fact that British music is greater than most everything. So far, that’s the only positive thing I have to say about the 2012 Olympics. Let me start with NBC. In short, fuck ‘em. I’m not sure if they are aware of this, but there is this thing called the Internet. This magical invention gives the entire world instant access to information…including the results of every Olympic game. I understand that some of these events air at 5am (CDT), but airing them ONLY during primetime as a recap is a stupid idea since it suggests that we have NO idea what’s going to happen. Speaking of being clueless, why didn’t anyone tell Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira to SHUT THE FUCK UP during the Opening Ceremony?!?! Especially after Vieira referred to something as a “money shot.” LOLZ! I downloaded the official NBC Olympic app for my iPad. I get instant results of events and stats on how many medals each country has. I got the app because you can watch live events…and the app is FREE! Oh, except for one thing: you have to have a CABLE SUBSCRIPTION to access the “free” live streams! What. The. Fuck? NBC is a BROADCAST network, so why do I need a fucking cable subscription to access their live streams? Let’s move on to the International Olympic Committee (IOC). First of all, the seats at the events are EMPTY! People can’t get tickets, yet, no one is there. Residents of London are extremely upset over a laundry list of things the IOC has set in place in their town. Worst of all, is the IOC’s cutthroat tactics when it comes to copyright infringement. I understand protecting your brand and making sure no one profits off of your hard work, but when is too far? Well, I found the line that is crossed:

Yeah, the IOC took down the Rambling Morons’ YouTube upload within an hour or so of being posted. For those of you who don’t know, Rambing Morons is a small podcast based in Kansas City. They’re good, but they’re not exactly reaching a mass audience. With that said, how the hell did the IOC find this upload almost instantly and have it removed? Fuck “how,” what about why? Copyright infringement laws are around to protect the hard work of people and entities and to prevent others from profiting off of it. Rambling Morons did nothing wrong here. The IOC were enforcing the letter of the law, not the SPIRIT of the law. NBC fucked up the broadcasting (and apps) of the Olympics. The IOC fucked up the games as a whole. London 2012: The Death of the Olympics. There is one thing that neither NBC nor the IOC can screw up…THIS WEEK’S ROUNDUP!*

* Screwing this up is MY job…and I do it well.

The NCAA raped Penn State with sanctions. Below are the conditions of the sanctions:
·      $60 million fine (proceeds go to endowment fund for victims of sexual abuse)
·      Four-year bowl ban.
·      All victories from 1998 to 2011 vacated.
·      Annual scholarships reduced from 25 to 15 for four years (current players cannot transfer and ineligible outside of Penn State).
·      Five-year probation period.
This is worse than the death penalty (i.e. no football program at all for a year). In other words, the legendary Penn State football program is done…forever. The $60 million dollar fine doesn’t include any civil suits that may come in the near future. Who’s going to pay for all this? The school, obviously, but money from the football program alone couldn’t possibly cover the costs of all the pending civil suits. Other sports programs and possibly academic programs might feel the effects of these sanctions. And why are the victories vacated? Since when did boy-fucking give you a competitive edge? Paterno WAS the winningest coach in college football, but has now fallen down to #12 in overall NCAA records and #5 in Division I NCAA. Some people find this to be unfair, but ask the victims whether or not they think it’s fair. These sanctions set a HUGE precedent. If you cover up child molesters, you will be DESTROYED once we eventually find out…and we WILL find out someday. This is a major victory for everyone across the board, not just for college sports. If you protect child molesters, you’re DONE. Message sent and received.

For the first time since some local girl (Catherine Fox) won a gold medal in 1996, my hometown of Roeland Park, KS (suburb of Kansas City) has made national news. Coincidentally, it’s taking place during another Summer Olympics…and that’s where the similarities end. A puppeteer who fantasized about raping, murdering, and EATING children has been arrested. Here’s his mugshot:
I’m not sure what gave it away; the way he looks or the fact he was a puppeteer. Anyway, this guy is not from Roeland Park. Want to take a wild guess which state he’s from? If you guessed Florida, you are not smart, but you are correct. Ronald William Brown (guy pictured above) had been involved with some graphic Internet chats with another man…the other man, Michael Arnett, is from my hometown. The two talked about cannibalizing children. The FBI found all sorts of child porn on Brown’s computer, including one where the child was decapitated. Here is a snippet from one exchange:
            Brown: "Maybe I can tell him that he’s a big boy now and he can take it. I
could give him a choice on how he wants to go.”
Arnett: “That would be nice of you :) Give him choices/ all which end up in him being cut up and eaten."
Brown: “"I could ask him how he wants each cut of his body to be done and then label it for him with a black marker.”
This motherfucker makes Sandusky look like a saint. Then again, it is the Internet. About 99% of all claims made via chat room are completely full of shit. I’m really hoping this not the 1%.

I’m completely against all the media hype about the theater shooting in Colorado, but this next story is interesting and has nothing to do with James Holmes. One of the victims is suing the theater for the massacre. Torrence Brown, Jr. is suing Century 16 Theater for letting the whole thing happen. By the way, Brown was never injured. Unfortunately, his friend was shot in the chest and died, so he’s suing for suffering from extreme trauma. Also, he’s suing THREE people: the theater, Holmes’ doctors and Warner Bros. I never thought I would rail against someone who was present during the shooting, but fuck this guy. He’s trying to earn a big paycheck off a major tragedy. You know either he or someone he knows came up with the idea of cashing in on this. Is he a little traumatized after this? Sure, but I am sure that was NEVER the motivation behind this lawsuit. The fact that he’s trying to sue Warner Bros. for this proves that a) he’s a fucking moron and b) his lawyer also is a gold-digging moron and has no dignity whatsoever. Fuck ‘em and everybody else that abuses the legal system (*cough* Danielle *cough*).

There aren’t enough Jews in politics. There aren’t enough women in politics. Jewish women? Thank God (the one that ISN’T the father of Jesus) Mindy Meyer is running for the New York state Senate. She will be the first Orthodox Jewish woman to do so. A Conservative Republican, Meyers is only 22-years-old…so she knows EXACTLY what she is doing. Don’t believe me? Here’s a screenshot of here insanely professional, well thought-out website:
Ohhhhhh, so THAT’S why no Orthodox Jewish woman has ever won a seat in the Senate. Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me? “I’m Senator And I Know It”?!?!?!?! Leopard print font?!?!?! LMFAO as the music played on your homepage?!?!? This has to be a joke, but it’s not. If she gets elected, this country just went full retard! This is exactly what happens when we don’t put good-looking rich girls in their place. I am sure that NO ONE told her this was a bad idea…before or AFTER the website was launched. If you are worried about her lack of experience (or intelligence), fear not: "I can tell you one thing, I have no experience in corruption.” Enough said.

Attention all hippies, PETA members, vegans, and other worthless people: you have no idea what the fuck you are talking about or doing. Also, animals HATE you. Point in case: A child was bitten by a rapid bat because of people like you. While hanging out at the beach, a 10-year-old noticed a small crowd gathered around a bat that was just lying on the beach. The bat was probably just chillin’ minding his own business until some woman picked it up and told the children to gather around if they wanted to see and pet the bat…because, you know, she was a bat expert. Except for she wasn’t. When the 10-year-old went to pet the bat, the bat bit her…because, you know, it’s a fucking bat being approached by a larger animal. One can safely assume that whoever picked up the bat for display was one of those “all animals are precious and beautiful” types. Or maybe she was mentally retarded…oh wait…same thing! Bad news: EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL WOULD KILL AND EAT YOU IF THEY COULD! Unfortunately, the bat bit the girl and not the dumb bitch that thought picking up a goddamn bat and showing the children was a good idea. Unless you have a formal education about *fill in the blank*, LEAVE SHIT ALONE. Your crystals and incense won’t stop a wild animal from instinctively attacking your dumbass. And NO, Wikipedia and Google do not constitute a “formal education.” Thanks to the Internet, we’re all experts about everything.

Los Angeles is a piece of shit. Fact. At least they legalized medical marijuana, which essentially means marijuana is legal. However, you wouldn’t know it after they banned all medical marijuana dispensaries. For some residents, the pot shops have been a nuisance, with many claiming they have increased the crime rate in their area. Not surprisingly, a bunch of hippies shouted profanity-laden protests at the city council meeting once they reached the decision. Hippies are peaceful, loving people…until you mess with their weed. There’s no better way to stop the alleged nuisance and crime increase than to essentially make marijuana illegal all over again. Banning dispensaries will put marijuana back on the black market and into the hands of drug dealers (salt of the Earth) once again. Legalize marijuana or don’t. However, don’t kind of legalize but only if this happens and only here, not there…see the problem? Oh yeah, we’re all fucking retarded.

A Greek Olympic athlete has been banned. Doping? Nope. Sexual misconduct? I wish (you’ll see why). Racist tweet? Yep! Triple jumper Voula Papachristou was expelled over comments on Twitter that were deemed racist. This is what she said:
“With so many Africans in Greece..At least the West Nile mosquitos..will eat homemade food!!!”
And this is who said it:
 I’m in love! Super hot and loves racist tweets?!?!? I’m pretty sure $10 USD is worth like a $1 billion in Greece right now. That’ll definitely help my chances. Social media has screwed over MANY public figures/celebrities. Remember folks, EVERYTHING you say on the Internet is being documented. Before the Internet, Papachristou would have told that joke to her friends, hilarity would ensue, and everyone moves o with their lives. Today, your entire career and life can be destroyed over that very same joke if you post it on Twitter or Facebook. Welcome to the Digital Age! Oh, and if someone can pass this along to Papachristou with my contact information, that would be most excellent.

What To Look Forward To On Episode 102 of Soundtrack of the Week:
·      Chick-Fil-A Hates Gays and Entire Cities Hate Chick-Fil-A (Part I)
·      Modern Music Is Loud and All Sounds The Same According to Science (Part I)
·      Response to Obama's "You Didn't Build That" Speech and Income Inequality (Part II)


For more news and commentary that Voula Papachristou would approve of, listen to Soundtrack of the Week on www.soundtrackoftheweek.com, iTunes, and on your smartphone via Stitcher Radio (Twitter page at @SOTWpodcast). Also follow Ty on Twitter at @TySOTW. If you don’t, the International Olympic Committee will block and ban you…from life.

0 comments: